Sunday, February 26, 2012

Reflecting on Peer Response Workshop #2: Revision Plan

Griselda Mercado

English 250 B

Huerta

Learning blog 8

1. By reading the essays of some of my peers, I

2. My peers told me that my thesis is pretty good, but I am going to change it completely, I’m going to put my own words on my thesis, my own ideas, I’m going to introduce the writers I have in my essay in my body paragraphs.

3. Yes, my peers told me to that my weakest paragraph didn’t have enough evidence, and that I need to integrate direct quotes in some. I plan on improving my paragraph by better explaining my point, and thinking of better examples, or explaining why I used the ones I put.

4. Sort of. I tried to put just one point, information for that point, and explanation. I forgot to do that on my last paragraph, that’s why it’s my worst.

5. Based on my peers response I think the best part of my essay would be my introduction, but I still have to fix it up a bit.

6. I think the part of my essay I should spend more time revising are my body paragraphs I need to make sure that my examples prove my point, and I have to explain my quotes, and how they relate to my point.

7. I asked my peers if the quotes I integrated went with my point on each paragraph, my peers said that they did, except for my weakest paragraph, because it is unclear how my example ties in with my point. I am going to revise my third paragraph, and look for a better example.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Reflecting on Essay #1 Feedback

Griselda Mercado

1. What surprised you about my comments? Why? What surprised me about your comments was that my points don’t make sense in some paragraphs or they’re not outright stated. This surprised me, because now I know that I have to be more specific and every time I add the word that or the I have to specify on what I’m talking about, because what makes sense to me, might not make sense to other people.

2. What comments did you find the most helpful? Why? The comments that I found most helpful were the ones that said what I had to improve on. They were most helpful, because now I know what to pay more attention on in my writing for example, where to put commas it seems as if I LOVE commas and I put them in many places where they don’t belong.

    3. What comments did you find the least helpful? Why? I honestly don’t think there were comments that weren’t helpful, even the good comments were helpful in that they let me know which things I did correctly.

4. Based on my comments, what ONE part of the essay rubric do you think you should focus on and improve upon in your next essay?  Explain and be specific. On my next essay I should focus on where I place my commas, I get excited writing those. I write way too many, more than I should. I should watch where I put them and make sure they really belong there.

5. Grade your effort: based upon the time, energy and focus you put into your process work, class participation and the final essay itself, what grade would you give yourself on your effort? Why? Be specific about what you did to ensure you did well on the final essay (including meeting with your Pass the Torch tutors, and/or office hours) I would give myself a B, because I feel like I should’ve spent more time on my essay, revised it a few more times, make sure my topics made sense, and that I didn’t completely ramble on what I was trying to say. Also limit the amount of run-ons and fragments in my essay. I met with you for office hours to make sure my essay made sense. Your feedback was really helpful.



6. What will you do to ensure you do well on this next essay? I will get my ideas together and know what it is exactly that I’m trying to say/ prove. I’ll try to not write as many commas, and only have one topic in each body paragraph.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Brainstorming and generating ideas: Essay 2

What case can be made for or against schools emphasizing divergent thinking?


I think divergent thinking is a good thing, and to encourage it is good as well. It allows for creativity, and expanding of the mind. Students are forced to think that there is one answer for one question, yet they should be encouraged to see the many outcomes from the question. When i was younger I would ask TONS of questions, I would question EVERYTHING, people to this day remind me of how i used to be. They would tell me "when you were younger , you would ask so many questions, for example, if the dog was sleeping you'd ask why? and i would say because it was tired? and i would yet again, ask why? and so on and so on. Now I don't question things like i used to, i accept an answer that is given to me, if i agree with it. I think that it is a good thing to see things in many ways, for example philosophers have many theories as to why things happen, and they are super smart, they think out of the box.

What would prevent rote memorization from happening in schools?

If teachers focused more on getting the children entertained on the subject they wouldn't just have to memorize it for the test, if they like it they'll pay attention and they'll understand it more. Instead of just making them remember a bunch of facts that they'll be tested on they should go more in depth than just making them remember the random facts that they'll be tested on. Rote memorization is not learning, it seems like it is a form of the banking concept, teachers are drilling information into the childrens' minds and expecting them to memorize it so that they can repeat it out on the test, doesn't even matter if they understand it, as long as they remember it, they pass.


What is the difference depth and breadth?

The difference between depth and breadth is how much detail is put into the topic. When something is in depth it means that there is more than the surface area of a topic towards it. When it is in breadth it means that only some of the things are present. For example, when something is in depth the teacher provides much more information, rather than what the students will be tested on. It is more than what is required to be taught. In breadth is just a simple explanation of a topic. For example when teaching about WWII if you were to go in depth, you'd say what were the causes that it had to do with Germany being angry with its inflation, and they wanted to blame someone and they took it out on the jews, and how the U.S. didn't want to get involved and the whole thing with Japan a breadth explanation would be WWII started because germany was angry and they killed a bunch of jews.

Is it possible for teachers to plan lessons based on a students interest in learning?

I don't think that it is possible for teachers to plan lessons based on students interests, because everyone likes different things, it is hard to involve everyone on one particular topic. What is interesting to some might not be to others. For example, many people like football, but for me, i honestly don't get it, and i'm sure it is a good sport, i'm just not really interested by it... while somethings that i think are cool, might not be too interesting to others. I think the only way to do that would be to split the children into groups where they have similar likes, yet i don't think that is very productive, because then it wouldn't seem much like a class, because everybody is doing different things.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Thinking about education: Freewrite response to Anyon

Susie Huerta


English 250B


Blog assignment # 5


-Do you believe that the difference between schools Anyon observed are a problem in a democratic society? Why or why not?


I believe that the difference in the schools is a problem, because we are not getting an equal education. It is like discrimination. It seems to me, like a subtle way of discrimination, and the parents have no say in how they’re kids are being taught because that is where they live if they want a better education for their kids they have to move to a more expensive place, and sacrifice other things, like food for example, for them to get a better education. We are deprived of an equal education, I don’t necessarily think that we won’t be able to get as far as the more privileged kids, but I think it will be harder for us to get to that level, because we have to learn all that they have learned throughout their entire lives in a few years.


-In what ways do your educational experience reflect Anyon’s obervations?


When I was in elementary school, we had to ask to go to the bathroom, even in high school. Also had teachers who didn’t care about the class, and a few who didn’t teach, yet they expected us to know the material. All of my English classes just showed us where to put commas and the different punctuation marks, but to this day I don’t really know where colons go and I still write run-ons and fragments. I think that the teachers probably taught us only that, because like the ones in the observations they also thought that that was the only things we would need, but they’re wrong! We will go further and get the same job as the other students have!

Final Essay 1

Griselda Mercado
English 250B


Diagnostic Rough Draft


January 20, 2012


Group minds


People are told that they should make their own decisions, and to think, and speak in any way they want, but sometimes what we don’t realize is how much we depend on the opinions of others’. Doris Lessing explains in her speech, “Group minds” that when we are in a group, be it family, friends etc. we tend to put our opinions aside if we don’t agree with the majority. We hop into a “band wagon” effect, where we follow others because of popularity or to be included, we want to be part of that group, and we feel that by doing as they do, we will be accepted. Lessing says that if the majority of the group believes in a particular way, the minority at times will fall in line, whether they agree on that opinion or not, they’ll probably input their ideas, but later say that they were wrong, if their opinions don’t coincide with the majority. She says that when we are in groups our own decisions are ignored, and we take in the opinions of the majority, something she calls the “group mind”, she also says we are not aware that we are following the group mind. This affects us, because we as individuals don’t fully speak our minds, we follow others’ opinions more than our own, when it should be the other way around. Lessing says that to get rid of the “Group mind”, we should all be educated into the horrors of it, and to acknowledge our mistakes and follow our hearts, and to forget the guilt that comes from following the group mind. I agree with her proposal to make people aware of the whole issue of the “group mind”, yet I don’t think that acknowledging our mistakes is enough to get rid of the issue.


Some of us know that what we do sometimes when we follow others isn’t always the best choice. It would be better for us to know how to follow our own hearts and take others’ considerations at times, not always. However, I think it is in human nature for people to change their opinions depending on others. Sometimes when that happens, it’s because we want to see the pros and cons of our decisions, we want other people’s intakes on the decision. For example, when choosing a college I have to admit that others opinions had an influence on my own. My parents were telling me to go to one college, while my friends were giving me benefits of going to a different college. It was hard to choose, because my parents would tell me one thing, and then my friends would tell me something that would contradict what my parents had said and vice versa. It felt as if I wasn’t in full control of my decision, I would change my mind every time I talked to my parents or my friends. I think that is the worst thing about the group mind, that people lose control of their own choices, and the choices they make aren’t fully their own.


Lessing says that there is much information out there that some of us are not aware of. She proposes that we include the general public in all the affairs happening today, I agree with this part of her proposal. My parents didn’t go to college so they didn’t know too much about universities, but what they did was they asked people, who had gone to college. The ones who went to college know what it’s like and they can advise others who didn’t. My parents didn’t know much about college, so it was difficult for them to advise me on what to do. They had to go out of their bubble to find out that information, it is hard for people to do that, and I find it hard myself. My example proves that there is knowledge out there that some of us aren’t aware of, and not only that, but it is also hard for those who don’t have that information to get it. As Lessing put it, “If I describe an experiment or two, then anyone listening who may be a sociologist or psychologist will groan, Oh no, not again---for they will have heard of these classic experiments far too often” She later says that for those who aren’t sociologists or psychologists her experiment was new information they probably haven’t heard of before. My point is that the general public is at times excluded from bigger issues, probably because they don’t know what’s going on or, because those who know aren’t going out and sharing their knowledge. The ones excluded have to go in search for those answers, while the ones who have them, keep them to themselves. I think it would be better if those who know would go out and include others in the bigger conversation.


Peer pressure can make kids do things they probably shouldn’t do. I think it is safe to say that all of us at one time in our life have done things we aren’t proud of because others were doing it, or we wanted to hang out with them. Later on in life they’ll remember those things they did and feel ashamed and remorseful. Lessing proposes that people let go of that shame and guilt, and learn from it; it already happened, they can’t change the past, but they can learn from it. I think people should let it go and change, and try to follow their own opinions, but I also think that doing that is harder than it seems. For example, the whole issue of slavery, first there was slavery, then segregation, and when segregation was illegal, there was still de-facto segregation, which was segregation by custom and tradition. People know that what they’re doing is wrong, but that doesn’t mean they’ll change from one day to another, it takes years, decades even. The majority has full control so things won’t magically change from one day to the next. Even though, we try to change things they won’t always be completely gone, things might get better, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be gone for good. I think that Lessing’s proposition is a good start, but I think the issue is more than just about the group mind, I think that for the issue to get solved the individual has to take that jump and avoid listening to the “group mind”.


I don’t think that her proposal of letting people know of the group mind is enough to eliminate the power some people have over others, because some issues have more relevance to some people than it does to others. For people to stop listening to other’s opinions and start focusing more on their own, it has to come from them, they have to take that step and start listening to their own minds. It is one thing to tell some one that what they’re doing is wrong, and a whole other thing for them to change it right away. It depends on how the person will react, some will completely agree and stop following other’s opinions and state their own, while others might understand it and not do anything about it, and the others, the majority, probably won’t realize that they’re inflicting their beliefs unto others. Lessing said that “When put as badly, as unflatteringly, as this, reactions tend to be incredulous: “I certainly wouldn’t give in, I speak my mind…” But would you?” She implies that people say that they wouldn’t give in, but when the time comes to go against the majority they’ll probably give in, and not state their own opinions. This proves my earlier point that it is easy for people to realize it, and accept that it is a problem, but it’s not as easy to make a change. The change comes from how they see the issue of their own opinions being mutilated by others, on how badly they think the issue is, some will be extremely angry, and others might just be displeased. The extremely angry ones, will dramatically stop listening to others influences, while the displeased ones might stop a few times, but won’t take that jump and ignore others opinions as willingly and as quickly.


People should be aware of the group mind having an effect on us, because it happens to everybody, and it doesn’t let people make their own decisions. It doesn’t allow people to speak their own minds. They get so caught up in the group that they forget about their own wants and desires, being selfless is a good thing, but there are times when you come first. Our future should only be chosen by us, not by anyone else. I admit that by introducing the issue of the group mind the issue won’t be completely eliminated, but it’s a start. Lessing has a good proposition, but we need to let the people make their own decision of following their own minds.

Reflection on peer response and revision plan

Griselda Mercado


English 250B


Blog #3


1. The most helpful thing about the peer response session, was that I got to get feed back on my essay, I have an idea of what parts of my essay I need to rephrase, and which parts don’t make sense.


2. The least helpful part of the peer response session was that we couldn’t actually talk to each other, we just wrote what we thought, but we didn’t say it out loud.


3. I am going to rephrase the wording in my 2nd paragraph, and add a few things to my introduction to make sure all the things I wrote are my ideas and the ones that I got from her, I gave her the credit. I have to EXPLAIN my examples, and say why they relate to my point.


4. I went to office hours, and I will read my essay out loud various times to see where it sounds awkward, and I’m going to ask my brother to read it to see if it makes sense.

Group mind paragraphs

Weakest There is much information out there that some of us are not aware of. Lessing’s proposal of sharing her opinion on the general public, about the group mind seems like a good idea, some of us, know that what we do sometimes when we follow others, aren’t always the best choices, it would be better for us to know how to follow our own hearts and take others consideration AT TIMES, not always. I think it is in human nature for people to change their opinions depending on others. Sometimes when that happens, it’s because we want to see the pros and cons of decisions, we want other people’s opinions on the consequences. For example when choosing a college, many people’s opinions influenced my own. My parents didn’t go to college so they didn’t know too much about universities, but what they did was they asked people, who had gone to college. They know what it’s like and they can advise others. My example proves that there is knowledge out there that some of us aren’t aware of, as Lessing put it, “If I describe an experiment or two, then anyone listening who may be a sociologist or psychologist will groan, Oh no, not again---for they will have heard of these classic experiments far too often.” She later says that for those who aren’t sociologists and psychologists her experiment was new information they probably haven’t heard of before. My point is that the general public is at times excluded from bigger issues, probably because they don’t know what’s going on or, because those who know aren’t going out and sharing their knowledge.


I think this is my weakest paragraph, because I talked about why people take into consideration other peoples’ opinions, and how I listened to my parents, but that is kind of a random point. It doesn’t fully go with what I’m trying to prove. Either I have to figure out how to include it so that it goes with what I’m trying to prove or I should take that part out. Another reason why it’s my weakest paragraph is because I talk about two different things, about how people take other people’s opinions and that there are things out there that we don’t know about.


Strongest Peer pressure can make kids do things they probably shouldn’t do. I think it is safe to say that all of us at one time in our life have done things we aren’t proud of, because others were doing it, or we wanted to hang out with them. Later on in life they’ll remember those things they did and feel ashamed and remorseful. Lessing proposed that people let go of that shame and guilt, and learn from it, it already happened, they can’t change the past, but they can learn from it. I think people should let it go and change, and try to follow their own opinions, but I also think that doing that is harder than it seems. For example, the whole issue of slavery, first there was slavery, then segregation, and when segregation was illegal, there was still de-facto segregation, which was segregation by custom and tradition. People know that what they’re doing is wrong, but that doesn’t mean they’ll change from one day to another, it takes years, decades even. Even though, we try to change things they won’t always be completely gone, things might get better. But that doesn’t mean they’ll be gone for good. I think that Lessing’s proposition is a good start, but I think the issue is more than just about the group mind, I think that for the issue to get solved the individual has to take that jump and avoid listening to the “group mind”.


I think this is my strongest paragraph because my example contradicts Lessing’s proposal to just forget about what happened, and do differently, because it shows how even though, things got better, they let that guilt off, but there was still segregation, even after it was illegal! It shows that feeling remorse isn’t enough, I’m pretty sure many people felt ashamed of how inhumane they had acted, yet things were still the same for a while, until segregation became more sutle.

Learning blog assignment 2

Griselda Mercado
English 250B
Learning Blog assignment 2

I agree with Lessing's point that group minds are a big issue in our world, but I think the

issue is so big that there isn't just one concrete reason as to why there are group minds

to tackle that will fix the whole problem. I believe there are many things that come in to

play to make the problem.

Learning blog assignment 2

Griselda Mercado
English 250B
Learning Blog assignment 2

I agree with Lessing's point that group minds are a big issue in our world, but I think the

issue is so big that there isn't just one concrete reason as to why there are group minds

to tackle that will fix the whole problem. I believe there are many things that come in to

play to make the problem.

Free-write on “Group Think” and “Group Minds”

Griselda Mercado

English 250 B

Blog Response #1

January 12, 2012

Free-response

1. The benefits of following the opinions and social “norms” of a majority group are that you are accepted, and you become part of that group. You might get popularity, or be liked. Another benefit would be you might meet more people and become popular. A benefit that comes with agreeing with family is that they will be more supportive of what you decide to do, because it is what they want for you, and they will try to help you accomplish those goals, because they want you to accomplish them. Another thing would be that they might be more proud of you, for example depending on a career you choose, and your parents want you to be a doctor or a lawyer, they would more likely tell other people “oh my son/daughter is going to be a doctor” they will say that with more pride than something that you choose to do, and it’s not like those choices.

2. The Benefits of following your own heart would be that people will like you for who you really are, you can be true to yourself around them, and you don’t have to feel like you have to be someone who you’re not. You don’t have to do things that you don’t like to please them. You might not fit in one particular group, but that doesn’t mean you won’t fit with others. You can be yourself and not have to like something that others do but you don’t. You can have control of YOUR brain, and think for yourself, and make your own decisions, because you want to. A benefit of going against your family would be that you would do what you want not what they want for you. If it wasn’t the best choice you don’t have to blame anyone, but yourself, on the other hand if you do something that you don’t want because of influences from your family it can cause problems, because you’ll always blame them for your unhappiness.

3. The consequences of maintaining your individual self would be the feeling of loneliness, because you might be shunned by your family, and ignored by your “friends”. If you need help from your family, they’ll be mad at you for not doing what they wanted, so that might cause them not to want to help you as much.